I am a child of the 50's
the eldest of 5, that's why I act like I know everything...
"keep up with the Jones's"
"what will the neighbors think?"
"don't talk to ME in that tone of voice"
***
I entered catholic school in 1st grade, after I was
tested as having high enough IQ
(I mean, high enough to spend the tuition money on)
I loved the relics and holy cards we got as prizes
for good grades...
I liked the ceremony and tradition of high mass
I used to have to make up sins for the confessional
I did my penance anyway...
***
When I was 10, my Daddy abused me.
Changed my path forever, it was about then I
developed my extreme dislike for hypocrisy.
My parents appeared one way to the world but
I knew different. Then we moved across country.
***
At first, it was a tragedy, then it was an adventure.
Years later, we moved back "home". My parents
did not want me influenced by Haight-Ashbury
or Bezerkeley, so they sent be back across country
to catholic boarding school. But the joke was
on them, because I had more freedom under the
nuns' watch than my father's... I went with a
dorm-mate to her home in Atlanta for a spring
vacation, smoked my first doobie at an Allman Bros/Santana
concert and my path was changed again. I knew
that these were "my people" and that I would spend
my life perfecting my self and my spirit, and not in
the pursuit of a wealthy husband (for which I was being groomed).
***
My sister got cancer about this time... someone gave her a Seth book.
I read it. And then another, then all of them. And I was off!
Amazing to learn how we create and are responsible for our own realities.
***
I went on spirit quests to sacred places, I learned the art of
divination, I learned how to manifest. I read every day and
collected quite a library, which I gave away some years ago -
to people who were so happy to find so many "out of print"
spiritual books!
***
Over the next 30 years, I see now that I rejected most
institutions - I can see how the public education system
has been dumbed down.
***
I long ago determined that the political
system is a high-powered game, about the time of Viet Nam
and the Kennedys', MLK's assassinations and the McGovern
defeat.
***
I rejected capitalism because I saw the pursuit of, and
attainment of money just did not make anyone happy for
very long. I was hip to the media way back when I read
Marshall McCluhan (sp?). I began back then to watch
out for the brainwashing.
***
I rejected traditional western medicine (pharma) in favor of
wholistic approaches. (I saw my sister cure herself...)
***
I rejected religion after realizing that they all purported to
follow a golden rule, but that nasty old hypocrisy was there...
I finally settled on Native American spiritual beliefs, perhaps
with Buddhism running a close second...
***
I practice a philosophy of "do no harm" and knew somehow
that the only thing we are left with at the end of our life in this
body is our soul, so that is what I invested my time in...
***
In my personal life now, I feel like a wise crone. I am in
observe mode, and the only thing I can think to "do" is to
be ready, meditate, listen for inner guidance, listen to
wise words right HERE, be in the moment as often as I can
and be some kind of light for others... as well as a source
of humor and optimism.
***
That is, as long as I can keep my critical, judgmental
personality from taking over! I know my words have power.
***
I am not afraid of death, I have been fortunate enough to have
had experiences that have taught me it is nothing to be scared
about. I do fear pain, but I have a fairly high tolerance. And to
me the most severe pain is emotionally generated anyway...
***
I think in my case, my ego needs to be dissolved or something...
I'm workin' on it - that is why I am blogging.
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1 comment:
Well!!
You Catholic girls are all alike!!
giggle/giggle!
It's amazing, how much you and I, hold in commom, considering were of opposite genders. I also, went to catholic schools and attended at ptrvate Franciscan boarding school! Our ages are close, so we experienced very similar outlooks. My birth name is john, I was in the Franciscan Order for several years as a friar (brother), my given name was giovonni (hence gio). There is a very interesting story to this. my father's family are from San Giovanni in Forie, Italy. It is in the most upper region of Southern Italian Alps. I get a kick out of that-s alips! It is a mountain region, in the heart of the ankle on the boot! San Giovanni, was a very early Catholic Abby. It has quite a history in the Catholic Church. A tale of divine vision turned to heresy. Naming me Giovonni, was lets say, the Franciscan's way of making a joke, on me! My early family life was a mess. I attended 15 different schools. My sister and brother were much older, so they are more parental in relations too me. My parent's divorced, when I was 7. My mother suffered long with terminal cancer, and pasted away, when I was twenty one. Because of my poor mother's illness, There was lots of moves, wih different family members and schools. I once calculated, that from grade 2-8, I change schools every 6 months. I got very good at adaption! Odd, for not spending much time with my parents; I happen to be with both parents- when they passed on. I was married briefly- right out of school, with my high school sweetheart. I have a daughter Chea-Marie, who is 38, and a granddaughter, Caline 6, both live in Buffalo NY. My ex has been married 3 times. Her second, the one she cheated on me with, was caught in bed with another women,by her and my daughter. Karma? I had a long term relationship with a young women, for 6 years, but like most of our generation, things fell apart. I've had an eventful life, with plenty of ups and downs. I will reveal more later, The early years up to 29, were what I've come to realizes as John's life. From there on, apparently, a change came over me. I just don't feel too connected, to the past anymore. I am of the belief and actual-realization, that I am in a walk-in situation, with this current incarnation. Through past life regressions, it has also been realized, this is the second walk- exchange- for this life. There was two previous near death exchanges. Most of my current focus and drive, is on finishing up this current life's- contract. I'll explain more about this later. I'm in a secondary awakening mood, and learning to adjust and adapt to this new way of being. In a sense, one part of me is retiring and allowing another to step forward, do you have an idea, of what- I speak of? It might sound crazy too some, but I believe, you probably comprehend this well? I'm very happy to have met you, I have come to realize as fact, there are no coincidences, in our current incarnations; Our roles have been created, and we share the stage, in this hard driven passion play.
on a beautiful (out of synch) prison planet, called Terra (earth). I will continue with more, later, bye for now vinigirl! gio
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